Today is February 3rd. It is my MomMom's 92nd birthday. I'd give just about anything to talk to her and wish her a happy birthday right now. I want to believe that she's in heaven/paradise/whatever you want to call it, and she's having one heck of a party. I'm talking confetti, chocolate cake, all the books she wants to read, her sisters and brother and husband smiling around her.
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A coworker's wife died after a battle with cancer today. She was 51, two years older than I'll be in a couple of months. I can't imagine what her husband is going through tonight. Grief, certainly, maybe even relief that for her, the long suffering is over. Hearing about her made me think of my cousin Jane, who lost her battle with cancer at about the same age. Jane who had perfect posture and a ready smile and raised therapy dogs. Jane who laughed about her double mastectomy because she could wear tank tops without worrying about flashing anyone. Jane, who fought and fought and finally lay down her weapons.
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I spent too much of this week angry about stupid things I can't change. Angry at the men in my office who get away with doing little to no work because their boss turns a blind eye and enables their fraud and waste. Angry at the spineless boss who won't do anything to fix the problem of deadwood draining our limited resources. What I really did was waste my energy on something that doesn't matter. Life is so short, and I spend too much time fighting against the crap I can't fix.
---
I watched my husband fall asleep a few minutes ago, and the love I feel for him actually hurts. How did I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve him?
---
This is what I think of, and the sky turns dark blue and the world keeps on turning and turning.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Friday, February 3, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
A New Year
Oh holy cats, it was cold here today! Highs got up to the oh-so-NOT-balmy mid 30s, but the whipping wind made it feel like the 20s. I'm not a fan of cold weather anymore, but at least I got to wear my newly-made fingerless mitts and my knit cap from the Knit Happens group.
Work was okay, mostly a day of catching up and re-prioritizing. Unfortunately, the cold from hell got the best of me, and by the end of the day, I was queasy from coughing so much. The inhaler & tessalon pearls did very little to slow things down, so I stopped and bought a box of Allegra. It's not doing much either. I really don't want to go see the doc because she's of the belief that if I try hard enough, I can suppress the cough through sheer willpower alone, and I don't want to be lectured about my lack thereof. Bah.
Did some more crocheting tonight, this time with a felting wool in shades of rose and cocoa. I'm going to felt the swatch tomorrow and see how the colorway comes out. If it's as pretty as I hope it will be, I'm either going to make another set of wrist warmers or go whole hog and make a purse/bag.
I pulled out a selection of yarn to take to work tomorrow so a pal can pick out yarn for her own wristwarmers. The Diva promptly jumped up into the chair where I was stacking the yarn and arranged her fabulous self across the cushion. Of course, I had to snap pix and take a short video. She suffered through it all with her usual grace and patience, blinking calmly at me as if to say, "Well, if you MUST make a fuss, go ahead. Do focus on my left side; it IS my best side, after all."
Bedtime, hopefully soon.
Work was okay, mostly a day of catching up and re-prioritizing. Unfortunately, the cold from hell got the best of me, and by the end of the day, I was queasy from coughing so much. The inhaler & tessalon pearls did very little to slow things down, so I stopped and bought a box of Allegra. It's not doing much either. I really don't want to go see the doc because she's of the belief that if I try hard enough, I can suppress the cough through sheer willpower alone, and I don't want to be lectured about my lack thereof. Bah.
Did some more crocheting tonight, this time with a felting wool in shades of rose and cocoa. I'm going to felt the swatch tomorrow and see how the colorway comes out. If it's as pretty as I hope it will be, I'm either going to make another set of wrist warmers or go whole hog and make a purse/bag.
I pulled out a selection of yarn to take to work tomorrow so a pal can pick out yarn for her own wristwarmers. The Diva promptly jumped up into the chair where I was stacking the yarn and arranged her fabulous self across the cushion. Of course, I had to snap pix and take a short video. She suffered through it all with her usual grace and patience, blinking calmly at me as if to say, "Well, if you MUST make a fuss, go ahead. Do focus on my left side; it IS my best side, after all."
Bedtime, hopefully soon.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Last Day of Vacay
I go back to work tomorrow after a lovely break, so I'm trying to figure out what to do with my last day of leisure. I finished crocheting the fingerless mitts and started working on a simple scarf to match, so I'll probably finish that up. I'm in the midst of re-reading A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness, and it's calling my name as I type this. ;) Love that book! Our computer room (aka where we spend most of our time) is a literal wreck; there's wrapping paper, unwrapped gifts (still!), knitting projects (oops), and miscellaneous craft stuff (double oops) all over the place. The dining room table downstairs is in similar straits with gifts that need wrapping and boxing up for shipping. I have laundry to do and groceries to buy, and it would be nice to do yoga again today to stretch my achy muscles. The little bit I did yesterday helped immensely.
It's refreshing not to dread going to work. I'll get to see some pals and break out my new 2012 calendar. The structure of work days will help me get back into the routines I've let slide during this break. Each day that passes will bring us closer to spring and warmer weather. I have a girls' weekend in the works in February with old pals from my engine days. I have fun to look forward to. It's all good.
Time for coffee and some breakfast and some socks for my freezing feet!
Happy Monday, y'all. ;)
It's refreshing not to dread going to work. I'll get to see some pals and break out my new 2012 calendar. The structure of work days will help me get back into the routines I've let slide during this break. Each day that passes will bring us closer to spring and warmer weather. I have a girls' weekend in the works in February with old pals from my engine days. I have fun to look forward to. It's all good.
Time for coffee and some breakfast and some socks for my freezing feet!
Happy Monday, y'all. ;)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I need a dick!
No, really.
I had one of those phone calls today---you know, the kind that makes you want to stab out your own eyes. Guy calls me up and puts me on the spot in front of one of my many bosses via speakerphone by asking me all these questions about projects I just barely know about, much less have completed. I told him what I knew, and he gave me all manner of BS about how I'd been "sitting" on one "for over a year." That made me laugh; I've been on this program all of a month. I reminded him of this, and something in my tone must have caught his attention because he rapidly backpedaled. Then he began to argue with me about what I needed to do for another project. I politely disagreed with him, he kept insisting I was wrong. Lather, rinse, repeat. He finally went on his way, no doubt unhappy with his meager updates from yours truly.
About an hour later, he called back and breezily informed me he was going to explain why I was so confused. "Hear me out," he insisted. I had to take a deep breath to keep from yelling because I'm not confused. I know what I need to do. He just won't listen to me. And then for some reason, I remembered my 7 Habits of Highly Effective People class. I put aside my impatience and anger and just listened to this guy. He was very earnest in his desire to set me straight. He did a great job of explaining the situation....except he was talking about a cancelled project that I had nothing to do with. I hadn't even mentioned this particular project during our earlier phone call. I was talking about one thing, he was talking about another. I let him finish his explanation, and then I explained again--slowly and calmly---what I needed to do with the project I'd been talking about.
"Oh," he finally said after a longish silence. "Well. Looks like you're on target after all."
Uh-huh.
We chatted a bit about non-work stuff. I found out he's from Maine, and we talked about the wacky weather here in NC and the lack of snow he's having up there in western Maryland. We ended the call on cordial terms, so that, at least, was progress. He found out that I'm capable of being somewhat civil, and I found out that he just wants to help. Oh, and that his office chair needs some WD-40. It was really squeaky.
I made the comment to my cubicle mates that the "here, let me explain why you're so confused" phone call wouldn't have occurred if I were a man. The one guy in my cubicle, who is one of my favorite people in the world, laughed ruefully.
"I hate to say it, Mel, but it's true," he told me. Bless his heart, he actually looked embarrassed when he said it. But it's something I've known for a long time. No matter how hard I work, no matter how many degrees I complete, no matter how many projects I start and finish, no matter how many problems I solve, I will still be seen as lesser than/not as good as a man. In my field, men are automatically seen as better, and women are automatically seen as dumb.
So...I need a dick. With a dick, I could get away with just about anything and everything. No one would question me if I said I needed to do XYZ for a project. No one would tell me I'm too aggressive. Judging from the stuff I've seen at work, I could barely do any work at all, and no one would question my lack of productivity because I'd have that all important accessory, more important than a brain and skills and experience. Life would be fucking grand. Right?
/hateful sarcasm
*takes a long, deep breath*
I had one of those phone calls today---you know, the kind that makes you want to stab out your own eyes. Guy calls me up and puts me on the spot in front of one of my many bosses via speakerphone by asking me all these questions about projects I just barely know about, much less have completed. I told him what I knew, and he gave me all manner of BS about how I'd been "sitting" on one "for over a year." That made me laugh; I've been on this program all of a month. I reminded him of this, and something in my tone must have caught his attention because he rapidly backpedaled. Then he began to argue with me about what I needed to do for another project. I politely disagreed with him, he kept insisting I was wrong. Lather, rinse, repeat. He finally went on his way, no doubt unhappy with his meager updates from yours truly.
About an hour later, he called back and breezily informed me he was going to explain why I was so confused. "Hear me out," he insisted. I had to take a deep breath to keep from yelling because I'm not confused. I know what I need to do. He just won't listen to me. And then for some reason, I remembered my 7 Habits of Highly Effective People class. I put aside my impatience and anger and just listened to this guy. He was very earnest in his desire to set me straight. He did a great job of explaining the situation....except he was talking about a cancelled project that I had nothing to do with. I hadn't even mentioned this particular project during our earlier phone call. I was talking about one thing, he was talking about another. I let him finish his explanation, and then I explained again--slowly and calmly---what I needed to do with the project I'd been talking about.
"Oh," he finally said after a longish silence. "Well. Looks like you're on target after all."
Uh-huh.
We chatted a bit about non-work stuff. I found out he's from Maine, and we talked about the wacky weather here in NC and the lack of snow he's having up there in western Maryland. We ended the call on cordial terms, so that, at least, was progress. He found out that I'm capable of being somewhat civil, and I found out that he just wants to help. Oh, and that his office chair needs some WD-40. It was really squeaky.
I made the comment to my cubicle mates that the "here, let me explain why you're so confused" phone call wouldn't have occurred if I were a man. The one guy in my cubicle, who is one of my favorite people in the world, laughed ruefully.
"I hate to say it, Mel, but it's true," he told me. Bless his heart, he actually looked embarrassed when he said it. But it's something I've known for a long time. No matter how hard I work, no matter how many degrees I complete, no matter how many projects I start and finish, no matter how many problems I solve, I will still be seen as lesser than/not as good as a man. In my field, men are automatically seen as better, and women are automatically seen as dumb.
So...I need a dick. With a dick, I could get away with just about anything and everything. No one would question me if I said I needed to do XYZ for a project. No one would tell me I'm too aggressive. Judging from the stuff I've seen at work, I could barely do any work at all, and no one would question my lack of productivity because I'd have that all important accessory, more important than a brain and skills and experience. Life would be fucking grand. Right?
/hateful sarcasm
*takes a long, deep breath*
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
A better day...
...than yesterday, that's for sure. For one thing, the headache from hell has more or less evaporated. I slept better last night than I have in a few days, and when I woke up this morning, I didn't feel like I'd been beaten, dredged through flour, and fried. So yeah...that's an improvement!
We had the wildly anticipated tech refresh at work today, which meant that roughly 70% of the new computers didn't work. I spent most of my morning helping other people go through their configuration set up and troubleshooting all the stuff our crackerjack IT team managed to screw up. Here's a prime example of your tax dollars at work: The gal in charge of coordinating the tech refresh told everyone over and over not to call her about their computer issues; they had to send an e-mail so she would have a documentation trail. Well, that's great...unless that sterling IT team forgot to load the freakin' e-mail program, which is what happened to one very short-tempered woman on my floor. By the time I got to my desk and started configuring my own brand new (so they say) laptop, it was nearly lunch time.
My new laptop is fast. That's the good news. The bad news is that my Excel program is, well, possessed by aliens. I use Excel a lot, so I'm going to have to call our national help desk tomorrow and spend, oh, at least 20 to 30 minutes on the phone with them in order to get them to fix the problem.
Fun stuff, no?
Despite DH's bad summer cold, we had a good, long bike ride tonight. It's not muggy at all, and the sunset has turned the puffy white clouds into pink lace. Wonder of wonders, I've finally found an insect repellent that actually repels mosquitoes: Burt's Bees all-natural bug-be-gone (not the real name, but you get the drift). It smells like mint and some other pleasantly sharp herb. I think I smell rather tasty, but apparently, the mosquitoes do not agree. Huzzah!!
Funny but true church story: During Bible study, Pastor D was talking about the altar guild at his old church. The head of the altar guild was very particular and had special gloves that the ladies used to carry the communion silver. He said that if she'd had her way, the guild ladies would have worn special aprons, special gloves, and special booties. Well, I heard the man say "special boobies." And I wasn't the only one who heard that. Chaplain Crandall reared back in his chair about the same time I did. "What did he say?" I asked DH about the same time Chappy blurted, "Did he say 'boobies'?" He heard me snickering and turned to me to confirm that yes, I heard 'boobies' too. "We're in the same gutter!" Chappy exclaimed while his wife looked mortified. So of course, I had to 'fess up to Pastor D about what Chappy and I thought we heard. He regarded me gravely as I told the story, then pronounced me beyond redemption. And then he cackled.
Sheesh. I'm gettin' grief from all sides these days. ;)
So tomorrow is hump day, and it will be one of those short days for me because I have to drive to M'head to see the doc. I'm thinking my car will suddenly veer into Starbucks for no apparent reason on the way back to work. It might even veer over to Panera Bread for a salad. I'm just sayin'....
We had the wildly anticipated tech refresh at work today, which meant that roughly 70% of the new computers didn't work. I spent most of my morning helping other people go through their configuration set up and troubleshooting all the stuff our crackerjack IT team managed to screw up. Here's a prime example of your tax dollars at work: The gal in charge of coordinating the tech refresh told everyone over and over not to call her about their computer issues; they had to send an e-mail so she would have a documentation trail. Well, that's great...unless that sterling IT team forgot to load the freakin' e-mail program, which is what happened to one very short-tempered woman on my floor. By the time I got to my desk and started configuring my own brand new (so they say) laptop, it was nearly lunch time.
My new laptop is fast. That's the good news. The bad news is that my Excel program is, well, possessed by aliens. I use Excel a lot, so I'm going to have to call our national help desk tomorrow and spend, oh, at least 20 to 30 minutes on the phone with them in order to get them to fix the problem.
Fun stuff, no?
Despite DH's bad summer cold, we had a good, long bike ride tonight. It's not muggy at all, and the sunset has turned the puffy white clouds into pink lace. Wonder of wonders, I've finally found an insect repellent that actually repels mosquitoes: Burt's Bees all-natural bug-be-gone (not the real name, but you get the drift). It smells like mint and some other pleasantly sharp herb. I think I smell rather tasty, but apparently, the mosquitoes do not agree. Huzzah!!
Funny but true church story: During Bible study, Pastor D was talking about the altar guild at his old church. The head of the altar guild was very particular and had special gloves that the ladies used to carry the communion silver. He said that if she'd had her way, the guild ladies would have worn special aprons, special gloves, and special booties. Well, I heard the man say "special boobies." And I wasn't the only one who heard that. Chaplain Crandall reared back in his chair about the same time I did. "What did he say?" I asked DH about the same time Chappy blurted, "Did he say 'boobies'?" He heard me snickering and turned to me to confirm that yes, I heard 'boobies' too. "We're in the same gutter!" Chappy exclaimed while his wife looked mortified. So of course, I had to 'fess up to Pastor D about what Chappy and I thought we heard. He regarded me gravely as I told the story, then pronounced me beyond redemption. And then he cackled.
Sheesh. I'm gettin' grief from all sides these days. ;)
So tomorrow is hump day, and it will be one of those short days for me because I have to drive to M'head to see the doc. I'm thinking my car will suddenly veer into Starbucks for no apparent reason on the way back to work. It might even veer over to Panera Bread for a salad. I'm just sayin'....
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