This is What I Think Of

Today is February 3rd. It is my MomMom's 92nd birthday. I'd give just about anything to talk to her and wish her a happy birthday right now. I want to believe that she's in heaven/paradise/whatever you want to call it, and she's having one heck of a party. I'm talking confetti, chocolate cake, all the books she wants to read, her sisters and brother and husband smiling around her.

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A coworker's wife died after a battle with cancer today. She was 51, two years older than I'll be in a couple of months. I can't imagine what her husband is going through tonight. Grief, certainly, maybe even relief that for her, the long suffering is over. Hearing about her made me think of my cousin Jane, who lost her battle with cancer at about the same age. Jane who had perfect posture and a ready smile and raised therapy dogs. Jane who laughed about her double mastectomy because she could wear tank tops without worrying about flashing anyone. Jane, who fought and fought and finally lay down her weapons.

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I spent too much of this week angry about stupid things I can't change. Angry at the men in my office who get away with doing little to no work because their boss turns a blind eye and enables their fraud and waste. Angry at the spineless boss who won't do anything to fix the problem of deadwood draining our limited resources. What I really did was waste my energy on something that doesn't matter. Life is so short, and I spend too much time fighting against the crap I can't fix.

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I watched my husband fall asleep a few minutes ago, and the love I feel for him actually hurts. How did I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve him?


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This is what I think of, and the sky turns dark blue and the world keeps on turning and turning.

Last Day of Vacay

I go back to work tomorrow after a lovely break, so I'm trying to figure out what to do with my last day of leisure. I finished crocheting the fingerless mitts and started working on a simple scarf to match, so I'll probably finish that up. I'm in the midst of re-reading A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness, and it's calling my name as I type this. ;) Love that book! Our computer room (aka where we spend most of our time) is a literal wreck; there's wrapping paper, unwrapped gifts (still!), knitting projects (oops), and miscellaneous craft stuff (double oops) all over the place. The dining room table downstairs is in similar straits with gifts that need wrapping and boxing up for shipping. I have laundry to do and groceries to buy, and it would be nice to do yoga again today to stretch my achy muscles. The little bit I did yesterday helped immensely.

It's refreshing not to dread going to work. I'll get to see some pals and break out my new 2012 calendar. The structure of work days will help me get back into the routines I've let slide during this break. Each day that passes will bring us closer to spring and warmer weather. I have a girls' weekend in the works in February with old pals from my engine days. I have fun to look forward to. It's all good.

Time for coffee and some breakfast and some socks for my freezing feet!

Happy Monday, y'all. ;)

Remembering With Love

The link will take you to a diary entry of one of the bloggers on Street Prophets. Please note that the diary entry deals with the death of the writer's father. Despite the sadness of the circumstances, I think you will find the entry life affirming in many ways.

http://www.streetprophets.com/story/2008/7/19/141540/665