It's Friday, thank goodness, and I've had the benefit of a very long nap. This past week did a number on my stamina. Long meetings at work, lots of stress, lots of 'must be social' activities that made me alternately happy and tired. I'm a true introvert who gets rapidly drained of energy by being around a lot of people for an extended period of time. I think the nap was my body's way of getting some alone time, not to mention down time. I haven't been sleeping well; see above mention of meetings, work, etc. Oof.
One of the good things about this week's very long meetings was that they gave me time to spend with some wonderful women from my past. Jackie O. and Suzanne came down, and we carved out time to go out to dinner at Circa 81. I loved introducing them to Circa and seeing their reactions to their icy chocolate martinis and shrimp and grits. We laughed a lot, and loudly. Being around Jackie reminded me of our trip to The Library of Congress and our mutual love of books and learning. Suzanne is one of those people whose very presence inspires me to be a better person. She's funny and kind, smart as hell, and I admire her faith because it's uniquely her---honest and heartfelt. I snuck up behind her on the first day of the meetings and surprised her, and the hug she gave me in greeting made me feel like I was the most beloved person ever.
Depression doesn't let me feel that way often, but when I do, it jostles my heart.
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I made the switch from the brand-name antidepressant I've been taking for eight years to the generic. I just couldn't see paying over $200 a month for something I could get for less than $2.00. Yes, you read that right. In some cases, generics are just as good as their pricier brand names. In some cases, they're not, and this, for me, is one of those instances. But it works well enough that I function and feel fine 99.9% of the time. I have noticed that rainy days make me a little sadder, and I'm more easily moved to tears, but I can live with these changes.
It doesn't escape me that I'm fortunate to be able to afford any medication at all. There are far too many people who can't afford what they need to be well. And that's a terrible commentary on the state of this country.
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I have a ton of things I want to do this weekend: knit, crochet, read, paint, draw, clean this house, cook some good food, maybe sit outside while the weather is fine. I think we're going to go see R's side of the family on Sunday to celebrate some more birthdays. That's always a good thing, celebrating.
Again and again, I am reminded how fortunate I am, how many blessings are strewn through my life like roses blooming along a path.
I am blessed. I am blessed.
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