Today is February 3rd. It is my MomMom's 92nd birthday. I'd give just about anything to talk to her and wish her a happy birthday right now. I want to believe that she's in heaven/paradise/whatever you want to call it, and she's having one heck of a party. I'm talking confetti, chocolate cake, all the books she wants to read, her sisters and brother and husband smiling around her.
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A coworker's wife died after a battle with cancer today. She was 51, two years older than I'll be in a couple of months. I can't imagine what her husband is going through tonight. Grief, certainly, maybe even relief that for her, the long suffering is over. Hearing about her made me think of my cousin Jane, who lost her battle with cancer at about the same age. Jane who had perfect posture and a ready smile and raised therapy dogs. Jane who laughed about her double mastectomy because she could wear tank tops without worrying about flashing anyone. Jane, who fought and fought and finally lay down her weapons.
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I spent too much of this week angry about stupid things I can't change. Angry at the men in my office who get away with doing little to no work because their boss turns a blind eye and enables their fraud and waste. Angry at the spineless boss who won't do anything to fix the problem of deadwood draining our limited resources. What I really did was waste my energy on something that doesn't matter. Life is so short, and I spend too much time fighting against the crap I can't fix.
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I watched my husband fall asleep a few minutes ago, and the love I feel for him actually hurts. How did I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve him?
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This is what I think of, and the sky turns dark blue and the world keeps on turning and turning.
1 comment:
Don't forget that she's beaten the pants of my Granddad and Capt. Harro at cards! Thanks for reminding me that life's too short to spend angry at jerks at work. I did way too much of that this week too.
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