What Not to Say During Communion

Yes, it's time for another pastor story.

Pastor D likes to say things to me just as I'm accepting the Communion wafer so that I'll either laugh, choke on the wafer, snort, or do some combination of all three. When he actually behaves and simply offers the body of Christ, I usually eye him suspiciously, which makes him extremely paranoid.

I had my hair done Thursday, and yes, I dyed the hell out of my gray. I now have mahogany colored hair. There's quite a bit of red in it, but it's mostly my natural dark brown shade. So today, as I approached Pastor D at the altar, I got this:

"Wow. Your hair...*pause*"

(My eyes narrow at this point.)

"No, it looks good," he hastens to add.

(I'm waiting for the inevitable.)

"What can Brown do for you?" he singsongs before racing into "Accept the body of Christ given for your sins."

Only our pastor could quote a UPS tag line during Communion.

D'you see what I have to put up with? ;-)