Behind As Usual

I haven't updated this blog lately because I've been so dang busy. Our church's capital funding campaign has been taking up what little free time I have, and husband and I traveled out of state for our god-daughter's baptism. That was a too-quick trip, but at least we were able to be there for such a happy event. In between the day job and the church work and the trip, I've been battling various minor illnesses and issues with depression. I'm pretty sure I'm on the upswing.

The big thing on my mind right now is religion. Specifically, how do I reconcile my personal beliefs with what I'm expected to believe? I'm not a big fan of labels, but if I were to take on the label of a religious denomination, I'd have to say I'm a Lutheran who is an ex-Catholic who is also somewhat agnostic at times. I question, I doubt, I get surly when logic fails me, and whatever you do, don't say "The Bible says so" and expect me to docilely swallow that. I'm sorry, I just can't.

Last night at our biweekly Bible study for young adults, I ran up against the type of blind prejudice that makes me literally sick to my stomach. One guy---my age, which is old enough to know better---used a derogatory term to refer to a Muslim. Another guy, young enough to be my son, added his two cents' worth about the evil influence known as Oprah Winfrey. As my ex-military colleagues are so fond of saying: WtF? I tried to play devil's advocate by reminding them that they were painting human beings with too broad of a paintbrush, not to mention promulgating as fact their own opinion. I was lectured and talked down to, and I had one of those moments of clarity where my conscience spoke loud and clear. I walked out. I couldn't sit there any longer and take their bullshit.

If you claim to be a Christian, do me a favor and try your best to act like one. Don't call people of a different belief ugly names. Don't cast aspersions on someone you don't know just because you don't like her taste in books. Don't portray your opinion as fact. Try to understand just a little of someone else's viewpoint.

I was fortunate enough to talk to our pastor tonight about all of this, and he helped me understand my gut-level reaction. As burdened as he is by his own responsibilities---of his own life, his office, his calling---he still spent an hour on the phone answering my questions. He gave me another perspective to consider about the events in my life that led me to last night's confrontation. Best of all, he listened. Not many people can do that.

I'm tired now. Husband and I went for a walk after work, and then I got on the Total Gym monster and did some exercises. I've had a fake mocha---one of those instant 100-calorie things---and a pumpkin seed and cranberry cookie. Bed soon, maybe a little magazine reading.

Tomorrow will be better.