Thursday, January 22, 2009
I need a dick!
No, really.
I had one of those phone calls today---you know, the kind that makes you want to stab out your own eyes. Guy calls me up and puts me on the spot in front of one of my many bosses via speakerphone by asking me all these questions about projects I just barely know about, much less have completed. I told him what I knew, and he gave me all manner of BS about how I'd been "sitting" on one "for over a year." That made me laugh; I've been on this program all of a month. I reminded him of this, and something in my tone must have caught his attention because he rapidly backpedaled. Then he began to argue with me about what I needed to do for another project. I politely disagreed with him, he kept insisting I was wrong. Lather, rinse, repeat. He finally went on his way, no doubt unhappy with his meager updates from yours truly.
About an hour later, he called back and breezily informed me he was going to explain why I was so confused. "Hear me out," he insisted. I had to take a deep breath to keep from yelling because I'm not confused. I know what I need to do. He just won't listen to me. And then for some reason, I remembered my 7 Habits of Highly Effective People class. I put aside my impatience and anger and just listened to this guy. He was very earnest in his desire to set me straight. He did a great job of explaining the situation....except he was talking about a cancelled project that I had nothing to do with. I hadn't even mentioned this particular project during our earlier phone call. I was talking about one thing, he was talking about another. I let him finish his explanation, and then I explained again--slowly and calmly---what I needed to do with the project I'd been talking about.
"Oh," he finally said after a longish silence. "Well. Looks like you're on target after all."
Uh-huh.
We chatted a bit about non-work stuff. I found out he's from Maine, and we talked about the wacky weather here in NC and the lack of snow he's having up there in western Maryland. We ended the call on cordial terms, so that, at least, was progress. He found out that I'm capable of being somewhat civil, and I found out that he just wants to help. Oh, and that his office chair needs some WD-40. It was really squeaky.
I made the comment to my cubicle mates that the "here, let me explain why you're so confused" phone call wouldn't have occurred if I were a man. The one guy in my cubicle, who is one of my favorite people in the world, laughed ruefully.
"I hate to say it, Mel, but it's true," he told me. Bless his heart, he actually looked embarrassed when he said it. But it's something I've known for a long time. No matter how hard I work, no matter how many degrees I complete, no matter how many projects I start and finish, no matter how many problems I solve, I will still be seen as lesser than/not as good as a man. In my field, men are automatically seen as better, and women are automatically seen as dumb.
So...I need a dick. With a dick, I could get away with just about anything and everything. No one would question me if I said I needed to do XYZ for a project. No one would tell me I'm too aggressive. Judging from the stuff I've seen at work, I could barely do any work at all, and no one would question my lack of productivity because I'd have that all important accessory, more important than a brain and skills and experience. Life would be fucking grand. Right?
/hateful sarcasm
*takes a long, deep breath*
I had one of those phone calls today---you know, the kind that makes you want to stab out your own eyes. Guy calls me up and puts me on the spot in front of one of my many bosses via speakerphone by asking me all these questions about projects I just barely know about, much less have completed. I told him what I knew, and he gave me all manner of BS about how I'd been "sitting" on one "for over a year." That made me laugh; I've been on this program all of a month. I reminded him of this, and something in my tone must have caught his attention because he rapidly backpedaled. Then he began to argue with me about what I needed to do for another project. I politely disagreed with him, he kept insisting I was wrong. Lather, rinse, repeat. He finally went on his way, no doubt unhappy with his meager updates from yours truly.
About an hour later, he called back and breezily informed me he was going to explain why I was so confused. "Hear me out," he insisted. I had to take a deep breath to keep from yelling because I'm not confused. I know what I need to do. He just won't listen to me. And then for some reason, I remembered my 7 Habits of Highly Effective People class. I put aside my impatience and anger and just listened to this guy. He was very earnest in his desire to set me straight. He did a great job of explaining the situation....except he was talking about a cancelled project that I had nothing to do with. I hadn't even mentioned this particular project during our earlier phone call. I was talking about one thing, he was talking about another. I let him finish his explanation, and then I explained again--slowly and calmly---what I needed to do with the project I'd been talking about.
"Oh," he finally said after a longish silence. "Well. Looks like you're on target after all."
Uh-huh.
We chatted a bit about non-work stuff. I found out he's from Maine, and we talked about the wacky weather here in NC and the lack of snow he's having up there in western Maryland. We ended the call on cordial terms, so that, at least, was progress. He found out that I'm capable of being somewhat civil, and I found out that he just wants to help. Oh, and that his office chair needs some WD-40. It was really squeaky.
I made the comment to my cubicle mates that the "here, let me explain why you're so confused" phone call wouldn't have occurred if I were a man. The one guy in my cubicle, who is one of my favorite people in the world, laughed ruefully.
"I hate to say it, Mel, but it's true," he told me. Bless his heart, he actually looked embarrassed when he said it. But it's something I've known for a long time. No matter how hard I work, no matter how many degrees I complete, no matter how many projects I start and finish, no matter how many problems I solve, I will still be seen as lesser than/not as good as a man. In my field, men are automatically seen as better, and women are automatically seen as dumb.
So...I need a dick. With a dick, I could get away with just about anything and everything. No one would question me if I said I needed to do XYZ for a project. No one would tell me I'm too aggressive. Judging from the stuff I've seen at work, I could barely do any work at all, and no one would question my lack of productivity because I'd have that all important accessory, more important than a brain and skills and experience. Life would be fucking grand. Right?
/hateful sarcasm
*takes a long, deep breath*
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy 2009!
Happy New Year! I hope 2009 brings you good health, happiness, and peace.
I'm starting out the new year with two projects that focus on creativity. One is Project 365, a daily photography/journal-writing project. The photos can be of anything in my life---daily scenes, special celebrations, random images that catch my eye. I'm looking forward to doing this project because I'm hoping it will help me pay more attention to both my visual and mental creativity. A tip o' the hat to Kat and Irene for getting me involved. ;)
The other project will involve daily guided writing from a book called The Daily Writer. Here's the blurb from Quality Paperback Book Club:
I've already read my assignment for today, and it's a humdinger. I have to compose an allegory. Yeesh! I haven't messed with allegories since Composition 101 in college. I'll muddle through it, though.
We didn't do anything big for New Year's Eve. My sweetie came home safely from Florida, and I got my hair cut and colored. Aren't we party animals? ;) We did go out to eat at 37th Street for salads and manicotti, and then we came home, lit a fire, ate a little dark chocolate, and watched the NY Philharmonic on PBS. At some point, neighbors set off firecrackers and earned the potent displeasure of both of our cats. I was asleep well before the ball dropped in Times Square and the big acorn dropped in downtown Raleigh. The new year comes whether I'm awake for it or not. ;)
We're playing things by ear today. It's far too cold to venture out, so we may stay in and noodle around on our computers, watch a little TV, maybe play with the Wii a bit. My nephew has moved way past me in the Guitar Hero world, but I believe I can still give him the proverbial run for his money with the Wii Fit balance games. ;)
Have a happy first day of 2009!
I'm starting out the new year with two projects that focus on creativity. One is Project 365, a daily photography/journal-writing project. The photos can be of anything in my life---daily scenes, special celebrations, random images that catch my eye. I'm looking forward to doing this project because I'm hoping it will help me pay more attention to both my visual and mental creativity. A tip o' the hat to Kat and Irene for getting me involved. ;)
The other project will involve daily guided writing from a book called The Daily Writer. Here's the blurb from Quality Paperback Book Club:
"Created by Fred White, The Daily Writer is a 365-day devotional, dedicated to making your writing life both more productive and more meaningful. Emphasizing the importance of deep thinking, White guides you through many of the most pressing dilemmas that writers face—from that dreaded writer’s block to maintaining both a creative frame of mind and a healthy set of writing habits. Designed to get you on track and keep you there, The Daily Writer will give you the focus, discipline and dedication to match your talent and ideas—365 days a year!"
I've already read my assignment for today, and it's a humdinger. I have to compose an allegory. Yeesh! I haven't messed with allegories since Composition 101 in college. I'll muddle through it, though.
We didn't do anything big for New Year's Eve. My sweetie came home safely from Florida, and I got my hair cut and colored. Aren't we party animals? ;) We did go out to eat at 37th Street for salads and manicotti, and then we came home, lit a fire, ate a little dark chocolate, and watched the NY Philharmonic on PBS. At some point, neighbors set off firecrackers and earned the potent displeasure of both of our cats. I was asleep well before the ball dropped in Times Square and the big acorn dropped in downtown Raleigh. The new year comes whether I'm awake for it or not. ;)
We're playing things by ear today. It's far too cold to venture out, so we may stay in and noodle around on our computers, watch a little TV, maybe play with the Wii a bit. My nephew has moved way past me in the Guitar Hero world, but I believe I can still give him the proverbial run for his money with the Wii Fit balance games. ;)
Have a happy first day of 2009!
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